The Random Blog

30 Funny Random Quotes That Make NO SENSE (but will make you laugh)

We all need a good laugh every once in a while, and what better way to get one than by reading some funny random quotes that make no sense?

These quotes might not have any deep philosophical meaning, but they will certainly bring a smile to your face.

From comedians to anonymous sources, here are 30 funny and nonsensical quotes that will make you chuckle.

  1. “I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to bring my camera.” – Anonymous
  2. “If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving is definitely not for you.” – Steven Wright
  3. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Anonymous
  4. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy.” – Anonymous
  5. “If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.” – Anonymous
  6. “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.” – Zach Galifianakis
  7. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not sure.” – Anonymous
  8. “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” – Abraham Lincoln
  9. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney Brown
  10. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing (Friends)
  11. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
  12. “I’m not sure how to say this, but I’m kind of a big deal.” – Ron Burgundy (Anchorman)
  13. “I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.” – Anonymous
  14. “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Anonymous
  15. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Anonymous
  16. “If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.” – Anonymous
  17. “I have a degree in liberal arts. Do you want fries with that?” – Anonymous
  18. “I’m not afraid of death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen
  19. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.” – Anonymous
  20. “I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.” – Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland)
  21. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
  22. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison
  23. “I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde
  24. “I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” – Anonymous
  25. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Anonymous
  26. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” – Jerome K. Jerome
  27. “The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.” – Bill Murray
  28. “I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesome.” – Anonymous
  29. “I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.” – Anonymous
  30. “I’m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I’m pretty sure it has a drinking problem

Memes of The Week

The latest and greatest memes in your inbox every week for free.

Unsubscribe at any time if it’s too hilarious for you!